Couples Counselling Frequently Asked Questions

I would carry out a free initial consultation with both of you together to talk about what you both want to achieve out of the sessions. We would talk in a bit more detail about the issue that you wish to address in the therapy room and whether I would be the best fit for you both. 

If I feel that you need someone else with a different speciality I will let you know and offer you alternatives that would fit you both better. 

The initial consultation will give me an indication of where to start. What is really important is for us to talk and for me to get an understanding of how you communicate with each other about everyday things and the subject that you want the counselling for. Generally the first session is still information gathering with the start of coping strategies being formed. Further sessions will go into more depth and give you stronger coping strategies. 

A counselling session with Therapy on Sea typically lasts for 50 to 55 minutes.  I charge £60. I offer a 10% discount for blue light. I also offer 10% discount on block bookings of 6. 

Couples therapy is psychotherapy, the aim is to help couples to improve their relationships by addressing various relationship issues in a safe non judgemental space. Couples counselling aims to help with is to help identify, discuss, and resolve issues that are causing stresses within their relationship.  

Dr. John Gottman, Couples Relationship expert states that “Couples Counselling is not taking sides or blaming one partner over the other. It’s about helping both partners to understand each other’s perspective, needs, and concerns, and to find common ground workable solutions.”

This question is asked a lot. There is no magic cure, with couples counselling you will be required to do some work on yourself and each other. The sessions will only work with input in each session and doing work outside the session. 

It is possible for your relationship to get slightly harder at the beginning of counselling, this is because you are both stepping out of your safety zones. As your counsellor it is my responsibility to ensure you leave the counselling room feeling as calm and as confident as you can be. I will not leave you in a compromised position within your relationship. It is my aim to monitor the session to ensure that it does not end on a negative and if it does give you ways to handle it in-between sessions. 

I am an integrative counsellor, this means that I look at lots of different modalities. For couples I primarily use Emotional Focused Therapy. This is short term, that lasts about 8-20 sessions,  it aims to improve the couple relationships by rekindling the physical and emotional bond between them. I also work a lot with emotions and feelings, communication patterns and understanding your core scripts and attachments given to us by our parents or other significant people in our lives. 

I always start as a couple in the session, depending on how the sessions are going or depending what comes up in a session I may suggest single sessions then coming back together as a couple. I may also suggest that one or both of you look into individual counselling, this is dependant on what comes out in the sessions. 

It is important to realise that there needs to be openness and honesty from both in the sessions, be prepared to share your history. Making time to connect and reflect after the session is important. Having a discussion on the goals that you want to achieve for yourself and also your relationship is helpful. Doing something calming and relaxing after the sessions is beneficial.